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Ok today we are going to be talking about all about how to think like a multiple 6 figure female realtor. I’m going to be talking about the habits that can make or break your career, but I’m specifically talking about mindset habits. There’s lots of other types of habits that I’ll talk about in future episodes, but for today we’re going to be focusing just on mindset habits.
Whether you’ve been in this business for 20 seconds or 20 years or frankly any entrepreneurial business, I find that so many women I talk to, have not completed the foundational steps of mastering their mindset. And As a result, one of two things happens – they are either struggling to get any kind of traction in their market. Or if they are experiencing success, they’re feeling exhausted and burned out. Struggling, exhausted and burned out are 3 things I don’t want you to become in this business.
So let’s set the foundations together now in the right way and as a result, be able to build your business faster, gain traction quicker and become more profitable in the long run. There are some incredible roadblocks that hold so many women in real estate back from building the business that they originally set out to create. If you don’t get your head sorted out, if you don’t start thinking like a multi 6-figure realtor, everything else you try to do to build your business will lose power.
Unknowingly and unwillingly, you’ll limit the impact of everything you do.
Having removed most of these roadblocks myself, not all of them, but many of them. I’m now so aware when I see other female realtors hitting them. So in this episode, we’re also going to take some audits on where you’re at, to help you really identify any roadblocks that you may not actually be aware of. And then we’re going to smash them to get you confidently on your way to building your business the right way. But I do want to warn you. I’m also going to be giving you some tough love in this episode, building a business is not always sunshine and roses and sometimes you need someone to lovingly give you a shake.
Ok so let’s have a look at these mindset habits that may be stopping you from being everything you were meant to be.
Mindset Habit #1 – The Long Game
The first one that I want to talk about is something that I talk to agents about ALL THE TIME. When you are building a real estate business, the things you are doing today, are actually to build your business in the future. You can’t expect them to work tomorrow. So the first mindset habit you need to have is that you’re playing the long game. If you’re only in this thinking you can make a quick buck, it’s not going to happen. But if you’re in this for the long game and this is a CAREER for you, I have no doubt you’re gonna get there.
So if you want a successful business in 2 years for example, you need to be doing stuff today to get there in 2 years. The longer you wait to do stuff, the longer it’s going to take to get where you want to go.
Your first few years in real estate, are all about building your future business. If you get some early sales, that’s amazing, but you need to think of everything you’re doing, as building your future business. You can’t expect to write one blog post and to get a listing out of it. Not realistic. But you can expect to write a blog post every week for a year, and generate a buyer….next year. Do that for a few years and suddenly buyers are calling you all the time….even though you haven’t blogged for a year. Do you see how that works?
What that means, is that Every second that you’re not busy actively buying and selling homes, you should be busy working to build your future business. Not sitting around twiddling your thumbs hoping for a lead to fall in your lap. Not sitting around stressing where your next pay check is coming from. I want you busy building your future business.
So if I were to tell you that you’re not going to make consistent money for a few years and the only way you’re going to make that in a few years, is if you start taking consistent steps every day, starting today to build that….wouldn’t that make you wish you started yesterday? If you’ve been in the business for three years and it’s not starting to see consistency, you haven’t been building your business properly. The longer you wait to start, the longer it’s going to take you to get there.
In traditional sales training, they often use an analogy of fishing for clients, catching with hooks and laying out a lot of lines, but I see it more like farming.
You prepare the soil, you plant the seeds, you water, weed, nurture and cultivate. Not every seed will take root, it may be only 1 in 10 or 1 in 20.
Which connections you’ve made will bear fruit and when? It depends – different relationships and situations take different amounts of time.
The timing is not up to you…
But if you prepare the soil well and are careful in your cultivation, you will reap a harvest.
So your first mindset habit to adopt, is to start farming today. If you want your business to be bigger than it is today, even if you’ve already got a good business, if you want it to be bigger in a few years, you need to start farming today.
Mindset Habit #2 – Exercise Your Resilience Muscle
Alright, let’s move along to Mindset habit number 2 and this one’s a doozy. If you have any hope of making it in this business, you need to be resilient.
Building a successful business is not easy. It takes dedication and it takes work. This business will knock you down more times than you can imagine and you’ve got to keep getting back up. You’ve got to be prepared to get knocked down. I always joke “Don’t let this business sucker punch you! At least see it coming. Expect it and then it won’t knock you out at least. It’ll just knock you down. And you will get back up. If it knocks you down 5 times, you’re gonna get up 6 times.
And when that happens, sure give yourself permission to have a pity party for a day. But that’s it. Don’t isolate yourself for any longer than that. Get back out there and force yourself to exercise and socialize. Those two things are the best medication out there for building your resiliency.
Another thing that will make you more immune, more resilient is how you view failure. I have often said that I’ve never failed and that might sound ridiculously cocky to some. But I genuinely feel that way. I’ve tried a million things that didn’t work, but that’s not the same as failing….it’s just gathering information. Failure is a mindset, not and end-result. I’ll repeat that again. Failure is a mindset, not an end result. To be successful, you’re going to have to try a lot of different things. I call it throwing spaghetti at a wall to see what sticks. Lots won’t stick, but that’s not failure, that’s just creative exploration.
Ok what else falls under the resiliency mindset… oh being stress resistant. I had a post on instagram awhile ago that said if you can’t handle stress, you can’t handle success and it’s so true. This business is going to be super stressful. It just comes with the territory. Again, expect turbulence, don’t be surprised by it, because it will happen.
You need to find strategies that work for you to manage the stress. I drink wine, probably too much of it. I also play tennis, take steams, have a big network of amazing friends, I have a beach house that I escape to, I have a dog – he really helps. I’m pretty tuned in to when my stress levels are starting to exceed my capacity to handle them and I have a shopping list of things I know will help bring them back down to a more manageable level.
If you’re finding yourself super stressed, all the time, about every deal you’re working on. It’s time to set up some emotional boundaries around this business and compartmentalize it. It’s time to exercise your resilience muscle.
Oh my god there’s so much else I could talk about under this mindset of resilience, but before I babble on for another 20 minutes, let me pick one last quick thing…
Oh this one’s good – focus on yourself and not your competition. One of the surest ways to feel like a failure, is to keep tabs on on all the houses other realtors in your market are selling. That’s just torture. Seriously. Stop following them on Instagram, stop paying attention to who bought or sold what listing on MLS. Just keep your head down and focus on building your future business. Trust me, you’ll be so much happier.
Mindset Habit #3 – Become a Lifelong Learner
Ok moving along, Mindset Habit #3 is that you’re never done learning. Even if you’ve been in the business for 20 years, there’s still something for you to learn and by having that mindset, it can actually help prevent burnout or maybe it’s more boredom that it prevents. But either way, always be looking to improve yourself and learn things you don’t know. A friend of mine who passed away very unexpectedly a few years ago, used to give me advice whenever I felt like I had a fixed mindset about my abilities or my talents. She’d say you need to stretch and grow, now every time she said it my mind would immediately go to the gutter, but now that just brings a smile to me face. It’s such good advice. So every time you catch yourself thinking you can’t do something or it’s just not your strength, or you’ll never be good at that, tell yourself to stretch and grow. Having a growth mindset is a huge factor in being successful. As is, knowing your shit. So commit to yourself today that you are never going to stop learning. Make it a part of the work that you do everyday to build your future business.
Mindset Habit #4 – Make a Plan and Work the Plan
Alright, mindset habit #4 is all about making a plan and working the plan. For the love of God, please don’t talk about how you want to make $250,000 in a few years, but then not do anything to actually build that business. If you’ve set a target for yourself, which you should absolutely be doing by the way, then you need to set a plan in place of exactly how you’re going to get there. I just love when realtors tell me they want to make that kind if income in a few years, but have either no idea how to do it or simply aren’t actually willing to do the work required to get you there.
Don’t get me wrong, I am ALL about manifesting the reality you desire, but you can’t expect to just visualize it and put it out to the universe and it’s going to happen. It doesn’t work that way. You definitely do need to visualize it, but on it’s own that will never work. You have to set your desire and then take massive, consistent and dedicated action to make it happen.
When setting goals at the beginning of every year, one of the things that I always like to tell agents is to set a target and then put it aside and focus on what you’re going to do to get there. Lay out all of the steps you’re going to take and the things you’re going to do, to achieve that target. Whether you actually hit that target or not, is somewhat out of your control. But you do have control on whether you did the things you said you were going to do. If at the end of the year, you didn’t hit your targets, did you do what you said you were going to? If you didn’t, we’ll there’s the main reason you didn’t succeed. You have control over what you do and how you spend your time. If you chose to not follow through on what you planned, that’s your choice, but you cannot expect to reach the success you were hoping to…..which is the perfect segue into Mindset Habit #5, which is to
Mindset Habit #5 – Get Out of Your Own F@cking Way
People are their own worst enemies. The vast, vast majority of people in this world will not succeed to the extent they wish, because they can’t get out of their own fucking way. They are filled with every excuse under the sun, they lack focus, they aren’t self aware, many have a victim mentality, they allow themselves to ruminate with negative thinking and they have money blocks coming out of their ying yangs that they refuse to acknowledge and release.
There’s a reason I don’t do one on one coaching with people, nor am I interested in growing my brokerage with new agents – I love the ones I’ve got btw and don’t want more, but I find it so personally frustrating, agonizing actually, working with people one on one and I can see clear as day that the only thing standing between them and the success they desire, is themselves. It’s so frustrating for me to watch, so I don’t do it. I’ve learned that I have to structure my coaching in a way that keeps me arms length from people.
So if you don’t want to be one of those people, if you want to be one of the ones that breaks through all that crap, then get out of your own way. Take a good, long hard look at yourself and be ready to take responsibility. Open yourself up to see the ugly and decide today that you’re going to make room and you’re going to get out of your own way.
Ok I can tell I’m becoming really preachy in this episode, right? Sorry. It’s just so frustrating. Ok I’m going to stop. This is also by the way another reason I don’t do one on one coaching. There’s this thing called the Karpman drama triangle which has a rescuer, a victim and a persercuter on each side. and I am a rescuer by nature, but if you’re a victim and you don’t do what I tell you to do, I turn into a persecuter, which is so not what you need. So trust me, I’m protecting people from me, by not coaching one on one.
Mindset Habit #6 – Take Massive Imperfect Action
Ok mindset habit #6 that I want you to really consider and watch out for, which is another big pitfall, is perfectionism. Full disclosure, I am the queen of this one and I have yet to master it. Who else is with me here? I see this mindset block a lot more with females than males and it basically boils down to overthinking things and having to get everything absolutely perfect before you do it.
Getting bogged down in details that don’t really actually matter, trying to understand every single part before taking any form of action, getting all of your ducks perfectly lined up before you actually take a step forward. You know what I’m talking about right?
People love to talk about the business that they want to build, but the vast majority don’t actually take any action to build it. Some of them get stuck in this state that I call the perfection inertia and before they know it months have gone by and they haven’t made any progress. They have the best intentions, it’s not because they’re not willing to do the work – far from it, it’s because they need it to be perfect, before they’re able to move forward.
So I need you to bring an awareness to this mindset habit that you need to break. The antidote to perfectionism is to remind yourself to continually take massive imperfect action. Money and success loves speed, so take action and make stuff happen. If you’re launching your website, just get it up, it doesn’t have to be perfect. If you’re writing blogs, just get them done. You don’t need to reread them 15,000 times before you hit publish. If you’re ……
Mindset Habit #7 – Hustle
Ok last but not least, the final mindset habit you need to have is that you’re going to need to hustle.
If you’re in this business to make part-time money, then feel free to work part time hours. But if you have expectations to make anything more than $80k a year, you need to be willing to work full-time and in your first few years in the business, that means working a minimum of 8 hour days.
Here’s the other trap I see new realtors fall into all the time. They spend a lot of time ‘networking’ and justify that as hours spent working. Nope, that’s socializing. That’s making new friends and deepening connections with others. That’s not working. Is it necessary to grow who you know to succeed in this business? Absolutely, but those hours don’t contribute to your work day.
The most successful realtors also always never take their foot off the pedal. I see this all the time, an agent will have a good few months making a few sales and they’re feeling all confident and that they’ve got this real estate thing figured out, so they take a little time to just relax and reward themselves – which often is conveniently timed in the summer. All of the sudden it’s fall and their pipeline has dried up and their money has run out and they’re back to where they started.
Real estate is momentum driven and it takes about 3 years of consistent business for that momentum to start carrying itself. Even then it can dry up. I’ve seen agents that had over 10 years of successful business who decided to take a breather and slow down one year….only to have to rebuild their business almost from scratch the next. So habit # 7 is to Never take your foot off the pedal.
Alright ladies that wraps up this preachy preachy episode. Anyways I hope you got something out of it, I know I did, I got a lot off my chest, so thank you.
So next week’s episode….actually you know what, I don’t know what next week’s episode is about yet. I kind of got behind in my podcast schedule because I’ve been busy creating this free online marketing masterclass, but I’m sure I’ll come up with something worth listening to!
Remember the more you learn, the more you’ll earn.
Until next time!